Another FF party

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hot tattoed hunks and foot fetishes

Last night a guy paid me $60 to suck my toes for ten minutes. I was at a foot fetish party. Although I don't have a foot fetish myself, the idea of cols hard cash turned me on. I went, not really knowing what to expect, and came away pleasently suprised. most men just want to talk and touch your feet, some want to lick and suck (which is pretty hot) but they only want to touch your feet. Nothing more. I am a foot whore.

I also got laid again last night, it was the huge tatooed hunk from two weeks ago. He is incredibly filthy in the sack. We had hot vigorous sex. He rimmed me, or as the americans call it, he tossed my salad. It was my first experince of it and I quite liked it! It was in a 69 , which is always fun. He also called me a dirty slut which I absolutely love. Seen as its friday, I have that friday feeling again, which means, I'm on the prowl for more cock this weekend.

Will keep you updated.

Love yas!!

TP. xx

Another one bites the dust

So I got laid again last night. Thats a fuck for every weekend I've been here. Not bad work considering the disgusting dry patch I was going through in England. My mojo is back in spectacular style. I only just realised how much I actually missed sex. So the guy from last night?? No mocking comments please...He was 19 and a football player. In my defence, his body was a work of art and it would have been rude for me to say no. I had a great time, he was fabulous in bed, despite his young years.

I have another date tonight, he looks like Patrick Dempsey aka Mcdreamy. I think I may be dropping my knickers again tonight. It is our 3rd date and I really really fancy him. However the fact that that will mean I will have had two penises in 24 hours slightly perturbs me....The fact that this pertrubs me, perturbs me even more. I like to think i am a sexually liberated women. I am treating New York as a sexual adventure as sorts. However, I am still dubious about sleeping with two men in the same weekend. Is it wrong? Promiscuous definately, but wrong? Would you do it??

TP. xx

Fuck number 2

So I got my second American fuck. It was extremely hot. He was about 6ft5, really stocky, covered in tattoos. Just what a girl needs when she wants a good hard fuck. It was absolutely divine. He said extremely filthy things to me, and I'm still having trouble walking and its Monday morning...Good times!!

I also got a job in a GoGo bar as a dancer....
Will write when I have more time and less prying eyes.

TP. XXX

A Low Blow

Ok, so my number one rule? No sexual relations between friends and roomies.
I gave my room mate a blow job last night.
This is not good.
It will get awkward.
I wish I wasn't so damn horny all the time.


In other news, I am being given the opportunity to produce a television show. I have found an incredibly cool guy to star (its going to be a documentary) I'm pitching it to the network next work.
Wish me luck....

More dates this weekend, I'm hoping for a lay.
TP. XXX

Paint and dates

So I have moved into my new apartment and am decorating like a fiend. I painted till 3 in the morning yesterday. It was a labour of love and I was sooooo pleased with the results. I also have become quite the date slut. I'm 3 dates in with 3 different men. No sex yet, but hand holding hugging and flirting are all rife.

Number one is a stock broker, very hot, however a little on the short side for me. I am contemplating a fourth date...
Number two - a cocky piece of work. Am attracted to his gutsy personality, but he is amazingly annoying. I think he maybe good in bed though so I'm holding out and then putting out.
Number three - workaholic lawyer. A little boring, but I'm willing to give him the benefit of the doubt because he is super cute and very intelligent.

Will keep ya'll posted!!

Love and smooches,
TP. xx

Homeless no more!!

I have a place to live!!! Yayayayaya!! I am no longer homeless...although it was fun for a while. All has calmed down in the office. People have moved on, which I guess is always the way. Anywho, will write soon!!

TP xx

shit hits the fan

OH DEAR. Somebody at work went through my boss's phone and found texts on there from me telling him he was a great fuck and the gossip has been spread thick and fucking fast. Its going to be so awkward at work now. I'm dreading tomorrow. I hate being office fodder, but I'm big and ugly enough to deal with the consequences. I've apologised to him in advance, I don't want him to be put in an awkward position because of it. But at the end of the day, it was one night stand, it happens, and he wasn't complaining at the time. He has slept with lots of girls in the office, so I guess it will all blow over eventually. I just won't be able to stand people staring at us (we sit in the same office, right next to each other.) I'm going to be cool, calm and blase about it...

ARGH!!!!!! If the ground could just swallow me up, now would be a great time.

America in general

So I'm not a big fan of drinking and then blogging, but I find myself at its mercy. I went out for drinks with the Hot Gay From Work. HGFW and I went form some drinks in a gay bar, danced like sluts, and talked about me fucking the boss. It seems that he (the boss) is abit of a slut. I don't mind, he could've just told me he was fucking others from work. Another one bites the dust. I liked him, but there are plenty more men in NY!!!

I met hot men tonight, but I was otherwise engaged with the HGFW. Although we had hot three way kisses (me and 2 men!!!) I am on the case of this hot guy called AD. He is beautiful. We work together, but I'm hope full. Also because he flirts with me. And because he is gorgeous.

I will stop babbling.

More sexploits soon.

TP. XX

Desperate times

So I have two days till my hostel runs out and no apartment. I want to cry a little but I won't let myself. I made this decision and I'm going to see it out as far as I can. I've been on one never ending search. Apart from the horror houses I have found nothing. My money is diminishing, my housing prospects look dim. The only good thing right now is the fact that I have an AMAZING job. I have one week to turn it around, or else I'm coming back home.

TP.

My first american fuck

My first fuck on American soil was fabulous. He is...my boss. I feel like a slut and harlot but it was worth it. His cock was amazing, cut and delicious. I was in heaven. He informed me that all American men are circumcised. I was giggling in glee at the thought. We have made a fucking pact of sorts to continue our liaisons secretly. I don't want the others in the office thinking I will be having preferential treatment, or for them to think I'm easy. Its pretty much a male dominated office, so I guess its in my interests to keep it secret so as not to cock block anybody else!!!

Anyway, still no apartment. Home sickness is kicking in. Will be round to check all your blogs soon.

Au revoir. TP xx

TP in America

So I made it!!! Its amazing, everybody is hot and nice and the weather is amazing...and I scored a date with the pilot of my plane for tonight (we were walking through immigration together...love at the airport and all that). I am a happy happy girl!!!!
I'm staying in the upper west side at the mo. My apartment hunt starts tonight FACT. I need somewhere to stay or I may be living out of a cardboard box.

However my money is running out rapidly so I may need to start stripping for money.

Speak soon guys!!

Mwah. xx

So I have 5 hours till I board my flight, 2 hours to get there and check in...the rest of the time to pack...It is a losing battle.

See you on the other side kids!!

My Crap

I have started packing. I was unaware I had so very much crap. I have a family sized suitcase and it is full to the brim with clothes and shoes and belts...and crap. I just downsized, I did not know this would happen. Methinks its time for another clear out...

It has been a horrible turbulent and exhausting week. Life moves on, even though you cling on to memories in a bid to keep everything still. To keep everything in a time where things were happy. You can choose to follow a bleak miserable future, or get on with things. "Do normal things" he said.

This is one of the last posts I will write from this country. New York beckons in 8 days time.

R.I.P Daddy

Today I am mourning the loss of my father. Unfortunately he lost his battle with many illnesses this morning. He was a great man.

22.04.47 - 17.08.07

Gone but not forgotten.

A New Lover?

So the guy from the other day? He asked my friend for my number and has been texting me. The mere reading of his texts sets my pants on fire. I am hot for him. Like I said before, he was incredibly gorgeous and the sex was fabulous. Also he is a little bit cheeky, which always goes down a treat.

So I'm at work, I get a text, my knees tremble slightly as I figure out its him (afterall I don't have his number.) I reply, and the games begin. I'm being submissive, letting him think he is in control, until my last text -

>Before I leave I want to fuck you one last time. Make it happen.

His reply

>Yes Ma'am xxx

I think I have found a new lover.

I got laid

I got laid last night!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am in an incredibly good mood. The sex was fabulous, the guy was gorgeous, and we both knew it was a one night stand so no awkward I'll call ya's. In fact it was a great goodbye this morning, a few kisses and lots of good lucks. Just the kind of thing I needed to get back in the game and a sort of warm up for my sexploits in New York. I CAN NOT WAIT.

Talking of which I have 3 weeks and 3 days to go till the big move and I STILL can not find anywhere to live. The thing is that nobody will respond to my ads because I'm still in the UK. Which means I will literally have a week to find somewhere to live. This is scary and abit shit. But what is a girl to do.

I also got my tax rebate which a lovely £500 towards my move fund. I love the tax man today. In fact I love everything today. What a difference some sex makes!

TP.

musings

I am sleepy and bleary eyed. I was woken at three in the morning by a cheesy text from OSG. They were song words (Last Request, Paulo Nutini). He knows I am a sucker for this man's voice, and he also knows I am a sucker for some fleeting moments of romance (especially from him as he NEVER EVER says nice things) so I guess all is forgiven, as long as he doesn't come and live with me in America. Talking of which, I want to be there already!!! I am sick of waitressing. I have 12 days left of work!!! Woo and hoo! I can not wait to leave because it signals my final week in Birmingham and indeed the UK. If I must be forced to admit, I am slightly scared about the whole thing. What if I don't make any friends?? What if I can't find anywhere to live (which isn't going well AT ALL btw) and what if I get no cock whatsoever?? OK the last one is a tad far fetched, I'm sure I'll be able to get some. But what if I hate it and I have to come back home? For me it will be like I have lost. I planned this great adventure with no help or guidance or permission. I had gusto and excitement at the beginning, but now I am a ball of nerves.

I am sad about leaving OSG too if I'm honest. For the past year this man has occupied all my thoughts, my bed and my heart. I can't really imagine not being able to just call him and say I'm on my way to see him. I can't think about him with another woman, which he will inevitably be doing as he won't be waiting for me. Maybe just before I leave I should have some whiskey for dutch courage (because that's what they do in films) and call him and tell him I love him....

Boy Trouble

Why on Gods green earth do I have boy trouble when a) I don't have a boyfriend and b) I have tried my very best to appease everybody in the past few months??

It goes as follows :-

OSG - I told him I thought it was a bad idea for us to live together in New York. He is now ignoring me. Two weeks almost and still no contact.

Best Friend 1 - I went to visit him in Leeds and he repeatedly tired to touch and kiss me, even though I have told him I do not like him in that way. He has been sending me nasty texts this week saying I don't care about him and our friendship is one sided. He came to my work place (all the way from Yorkshire to Birmingham) to have a go at me and then drove back.

Ex Boyfriend - He keeps claiming that he KNOWS I am seeing somebody else. Even if I was it should be no concern of his (we broke up in JANUARY). He sends me texts asking if I want to go and meet him "one last time" and is laying on the guilt thick and strong. He even said if I hadn't been so selfish in my career we could have gotten married next year. I told him to piss off and now he too is ignoring me.

I am at a loss as to what to do with these men. I am heartbroken as I cared about them all an incredible amount. I am aghast how relationships so happy and strong could turn so horrid and wretched. I am sad.

4 weeks to NYC

Its the 2nd of August already!!! Time is running away from me. I've got so much left to do, mainly FINDING SOMEWHERE TO LIVE! I have booked a hotel for my first night in NYC. I went with The Ramada, a name you can trust. But I simply can not afford to stay there for a few weeks. I need to find a diveyer hotel which will cost less whilst I look around. The problem here is, well I'm not a divey kind of girl...all the time.

4 and a half weeks to go!! Wohoo!!

OSG woe

OSG is defos moving to New York. I am slightly nervous about this. So far I'm used to planning this whole trip alone, now he is trying to sort out his visa, asking me to look at apartments he has sent me via email...its all abit too much. We don't have a conventional relationship, and all of a sudden he has turned into my ex commitmenty boyfriend. I do love OSG, dearly in fact. He ticks all my boxes, but only when he is being OSG. I don't like it when he is being my boyfriend. I don't do conventional. I'm not ready for conventional. My plan was to go to NY and have lots of sex with lots of men (Polaroid Princess, gone but not forgotten), which for the best part has been scuppered because I will have a live in lover. I am going to tell him that it is fine for him to come, but I don't want us in such close proximity. Its un nerving. And its not us.

Also I ate bread and fell off my detox bandwagon abit. Going for a weigh in at the gym in about an hour. Will let you know how I get on.

Love and kisses!

Detoxing, a miserable existance.

Day two into detox and I want to cry. I couldn't poo all of yesterday and today when I did....it smelled liked a vegetarian's poo :( Oh woe is me. I can not eat meat, I am having beef withdrawal shakes (if you know me well you will know that I value beef even above my life) and am lost without caffeine. In a weird way, I do secretly like all this pain. I feel like because its so hard, I must be detoxing extra good. I think the alcohol and caffeine will be easily forgotten, but the meat is the hardest part.

In other unrelated news, I went swimming with my nephews. I did not know that a string bikini is not suitable attire to play in water with two very boisterous under tens. I flashed my breasts an embarrassingly large amount of times. In the end I had to get out the pool and watch them because I was so scared of being arrested. I was talking to OSG about the incident, and he asked why I didn't wear a sensible costume. The reason is because I don't have one!! My bikinis are evidently just for sunbathing, not swimming. He also told me that I'm going to be the slutty mum in the school. There is no justice.

Leeds

...is full of very attractive men! I got lost in Leeds station and got on the wrong train (I told you I would do something stupid) and was helped by two incredibly good looking older men. They carried my suitcase, got off at the next stop with me, went back to the station and put me on the correct train. It was AMAZING. I love a strong helpful man, and I had two. Thank you God! Not only that, but I went to a fabulous establishment called The Cockpit and twas indeed a pit of men. Hot indie types, good music and cold beer. what more could a girl ask for.

In other news, I watched the Victoria Beckham moving to LA show in earnest. I started thinking about how if I had a show ( I can dream) what would happen in mine. It would probably feature me:-
1) packing ALOT of un neccesary stuff
2) having a tantrum when my suitcase won't shut
3) Missing my plane because I am ALWAYS late
4) crying like a big baby when the plane eventually takes off (I am terrified of flying yet love to travel, I blame this contradictory nature on me being an Aquarian)
5) Getting to America and inevitably getting lost, breaking or losing something valuble
6) getting fed up, really fat and coming back

Although this wouldn't be very compulsive viewing I'd sure love to watch it back in a few years time for fun and then to wonder what I was thinking having my hair like that. (I am currently sporting a huge blunt fringe along with a "trendy" haircut.)

I also start my detox this week. Wish me luck. I've managed not to smoke for two whole weeks now. Alcohol won't be difficult, and it is only until the 24th of August when I have me leaving bash. In the words of GG I will Survive.

One last thing, I met OSG this weekend and had an absolutely fabulously filthy time. No sex though as his penis resembles a beer can and I simply CAN NOT errr "accommodate" him. (how big is too big??) But we had a lot of fun, and he was hot, and I'm going to miss him loads sob sob. But I'll worry about that when I leave.

Peace Out Dudes.

TP xx

Less then 6 till weeks till NY!! I have been working my arse off and have literally not been doing anything else, which is dim to blog about. However I did go paintballing and now have bruises which look like love bites all over my back. Not a good look. Am off to Leeds this weekend to some dirty trashy indie hideouts. I am sure I will do something stupid, therefore I will have blog material. Sorry for being a boring cow. It will get better soon...I hope.

Love me. xx

Man Trouble

I know I've been shit lately, but I have some great juicy MAN gossip for you!! Yes I have managed to fit in some man antics whilst working two jobs. I am very smug and satisfied with myself as you can tell. So, let us begin.

OSG - He wants to move to NYC with me. I am not very happy, SSM pointed out that I did lots of hard work to find the job and that he is just applying off my back. All very true. But what is most perturbing about the whole saga is, that we will no doubt have to live AND work together. It would be so so messy and so so wrong. Instead I have been helping him find a job closer to home so he stays here. He has now found a job at my sister's company. They are great friends, they have laughs together. THEY HAVE IN JOKES!!!! This isn't fair. I hate it!! I'd rather he came to NYC and annoyed me by being around all the time. I know nothing would ever happen because she is married, and she knows that there is history between OSG and I. However, I do slightly feel left out. Especially when I was at her house for dinner, and he rang her to tell her to watch this programme on telly, because it is just the kind of thing she would find hilarious. Everybody was laughing except me. So all in all I'm abit put out.

School chum - SC and I have met up for dinner and drinks quite a few times n the past few weeks. Dare I say it, it is going pretty well. He is handsome, witty and quite similar to me. However, it is all abit shit because I leave the country in a few weeks and he has made is deathly clear that he is not a casual relationship kind of guy. Conclusion - screwed again (unfortunately not literally)

And lastly I have not had sex since February. I am getting desperate. I am having sex dreams about the chefs at work. I am horny at inappropriate times. I am smoking like a chimney. To get rid of some frustration I have a new ear piercing. I will take some pics and put them up soon.

Until next time, TP. xx

Lost Phone (and lots of these)

I lost my phone. What actually happened was...I went out for some drinks, we (my fellow restauranters and I) thought it would be a good idea to go clubbing. The club was full of 5 year olds, so we got extremely drunk (remember I'm a lightweight, so extreme drunkenness for me is about 4 vodka lime and sodas) to wipe out our surroundings. At about quarter to twelve (ever the party animal me) I decided it was time to go home. I stumbled into a cab and left my phone on the back seat.

I feel I have lost a limb. OSG feels like he has lost a limb as we can not send each other perverse pictures (I just sent him two rather *filthy* (in the loosest terms as they were actually just pictures of my feet in the shoes) pictures of my cool new shoes). I have no communication with the outside world. I am a sailor in a stormy sea. I didn't realise what a vital crutch to my life my phone was. Like for example, I am always late, my phone comes in handy because I can text and change designated meeting times as I'm on my way. (I can also fib about how far into the journey I am and how awful the traffic is, therefore the lateness is forgiven). I can call people and here voices rather then read words. I am in mourning. Officially. Until Wednesday when the kind people at O2 send me my new phone, complete with old number so nothing is lost (except my sanity for a few days).

Sick Day (Sponsored by Master Card)

I called in sick. I wasn't actually "sick" I was just "sick" of working. I had a great fun filled day actually and did not feel guilty in the slightest. After all I have been working 7 days a week for about 6 six weeks now. A girlie needs a break!!

What I did :-
I got a pedicure
I got my legs waxed
I got a spray tan
I bought 2 very cool pairs of shoes
I bought some other random stuff
I winked at a sales assistant by accident and then had to run out of the shop as he looked at me with disgust
I fell over twice because it was raining and the floor was slippy and I had inappropriate shoes on
I got shouted at by mum for spending all that money.

Cost of day - £210
Cost of day off spent frivolously playing - Priceless.

School play

I went to see my niece and nephew's school play today. I was in awe at the amount of comedic potential held by the people there. There was The Headmaster. Not only did he close his eyes as the children were singing and mime enthusiastically along, not only did his gut hang over his trousers, and not only did he display an acre of builders bum when he sat down, but he also said really cheesy things in a nasally voice.
Then there was Frumpy Teacher Trying to be Sexy. Oh the shame and embarrassment. She was wearing fishnet tights and ankle boots. You could see her WHITE bra under her sheer BLACK shirt. I had a teacher like that too. Maybe it just happens when you start to teach, you start to think that wearing these kinds of clothes make you cool. Its a bloody Primary School not Moulin Rouge.
Lastly there was Over enthusiastic Family Member. The clapped the loudest and wildest when their child was on stage, they looked bored when they weren't. They nudged the person next to them to inform them that that particular child was in the family, but obviously not when their child was speaking. They thought it acceptable to take pictures constantly when their child was on stage. They shushed people when their child was talking, even though they were the only person making the noise. All in all, abit of a twat.

I was the twat. In my defence, my niece and nephew were amazingly great and clever and got all the words right and performed with pizazz. However, they did refuse to speak to me after the show because I had embarrassed them so much.

P.s. I also passed my degree with honors!! Woop woop!! (a 2:2 in case you're wondering)

I am working two jobs. Call me crazy, its an 80 hour week. I'm making lots of money and having it cruelly snatched away by le man of tax. What a wanker!!! Doesn't he know I have an immigration to fund!!! I spoke to my ma and she told me I have to go, that I have no choice, that she would be disappointed if I didn't go. So there you have it, I will be fleeing the country after all.

So, "what jobs are you working??" I hear you cry with earnest...or not. Weeelll I am temping by day (boring, pervert boss, but I get to wear sexy office clothes which I have a huge fetish about) and waitressing by night. The latter has sparked an idea. I think I am going to write a restaurant etiquette book. For example, when is it ever Ok to ever walk into a restaurant and sit yourself down? The answer...Never unless it is fast food. This restaurant has turned me into a mean horrible cow. I hate people, especially people who want to eat food and have lots of drinks on a lovely balmy summer evening, when I am stuck in a hideous brown shirt, ugly shoes and sweating profusely because I have to get stuff.

I have been estate agenting it up for my parents. My mum and dad want to move house, a little bit more into the country, a place where they can relax really. Its bloody hard work. Who ever knew that mothers could be so fussy??

Anyway, all is calm at home and getting better by the day. Will be a better blogger from now on I promise!!!

TP. Xx

An Update

My dad is feeling better, his words are still slurred but he is so so much more coherent. He will be discharged by Friday the doctors think, which is unbelievably great. I have no doubt that he will get miles better once he is at home as he absolutely hates hospitals. He hasn't been able to see my nieces and nephews which will also make a huge difference as he lives for them. He sees them everyday on a regular basis. Its all good news.

I am in two minds about whether to go to NYC. I was in the process of booking my ticket (5th of September) but don't know whether I should leave everybody to cope by themselves. He will have fully recovered by them but I'm just scared that he may have another one. I have a huuuuge family (four sisters and two brothers) so I have no doubt that he will be well looked after, its just that I would really like to be there.

Anyway, thank you to everybody for the kind comments.

TP

My Dad

I have just been for a 55 minute run. Exhaustion and heat has forced me back in. In truth I was running away. My father is sick. Real sick. He had a stroke. This is my Superman, and now he is a babbling wreck. He recognises us but does not know our names. He cannot smile, nor does he want to. He doesn't know what is wrong, because he is so incoherent he can't comprehend. I am helpless. I have never ever imagined any of my parents like this. He doesn't know his name, his date of birth, my nephew's names. I am devastated. I would give anything in the world to make him better. I can't eat, I am numb. He is a child again. When somebody asks him a question he looks to us to answer. If he does answer it is a bunch of incomprehensible numbers. I have not cried, I am thankful he is alive.

I found him, I had to dress him and call an ambulance. I vomited when the doctor told me he had had a stroke. I had nobody to lean on, I was alone because everybody else was somewhere else through no choice of their own.

I am afraid.

Back to Brum

I am back in my beloved Birmingham. Whilst I should say that I am sad to see my student life end, I must say that it hasn't hit me as of yet. Right now I am having tremendous fun, watching Sci Fi channel, drinking beers and cocktails, watching dvds and being spoilt by ma and pa. Now all I have to do is find a job. I need money to fund my shoe habit, even though it is on hiatus atm, I'm sure it will be back with a vengeance when I get to NYC. I am off at the end of July because me visa is all sorted yipee!! I can not wait.

I had my last night with OSG. Unfortunately it was annoyingly good. He indulged me, he gave me hugs and kisses, he rubbed my back and feet. We laughed and had a fabulous night. He even gave me some emotion and told me how much he was going to miss me. And then I had to leave the next day. How rubbish!!! But he is going to fly to NYC in September so hopefully I can just be his regular holiday hottie.

Anyway, my favourite sister is nosing at her laptop, must dash darlings.

TP. XX

Bye Bye Shoes, Hello McSteamy

I now have twelve pairs of shoes. (discounting flip flops and boots) If I had an emoticon for hysterical out of control sobbing I would use it right about now. The reason for me giving all my shoes to charity (yes charity, some were unworn and I thought that they deserved a good home) is because I am throwing everything that is completely un necessary. 70 pairs of shoes are un necessary. I can't even carry that many shoes to New York, because then where will I put my clothes?? Which I have also had to downsize. It has been a horribly sad downsizing week. But I figure, I can just buy oh so much more in New York. I am only taking my shoes and clothes to NYC. It feels quite liberating not having any junk. As I type the only valuable thing in my room is a computer, which I'm swapping for a laptop before I leave. So I really am stuff free.

Tonight we're having a wine and cheese night. I must admit that it is mighty hard for me to hide my excitement. These are possibly two of my favourite things in the world. And coupled together I feel like all my birthdays, snow days and other fun things have come at once. I will let you know how the different tastes delight my palette.

I have also started watching season three of Grey's Anatomy on the net. It is delightful. I now not only have McDreamy, but McSteamy too!!!! Yes McSteamy gets a job at the hospital. I think these are possibly the only two men in the whole world I would love to have a threesome with who have Mc in the their names. HOT!!!

Anwho I have lots of emotional stuff to blog about tomorrow as it will be my last official night as a student. I am leaving this horrible sad chav forsaken town to go back to my beloved brummie land. However tonight I have wine and cheese so I will be happy!!!

TP XX

Graduation Ball!

So I had it! It was fun and frivolous. But now I somehow feel anti climaxed. (even a word??) All that's left of my four years of being a filthy student is getting drunk and moving out. To be honest, I can not wait to find a job that will fill the gap before I move to New York in August!! I can not wait. I am counting days. OSG asked me to go to his. I helped him pick his clothes and he looked gorgeous, and now he wants me to peel them off... I think I'll make him wait abit longer for me, afterall it will be the last time.

TP xx

P.s. I would leave a pic of me and the flatmates in all our lovelyness but I don't know how.

*Update I did it thanks to Me!! Thats me in my dress.*

So I did a really dumb thing. I locked myself out of my blog because I was stupid. I forgot my log in email address, but after alot of screaming and frustration I managed to get back in. My private detective skills rival no other. I looked at my profile and found my email address. Never will this happen again.

So Wednesday night, we had a nice girlie night out. We went for cocktails. All was well. We decided to frequent our local club as we have never been there before. They wouldn't let me in. I only had university ID and they thought it was fake. The cheek of it!!! A club only ever visited by underage chav girls, and they wouldn't let me because they thought I looked under eighteen!!! I was annoyed. I was more annoyed because I needed a wee. I was even more annoyed because some sixteen years olds in very little clothing strolled in right after me. The moral of the story?? I should definitely get my tits out more often and then I wouldn't have problems.

I also had a huge row with Fat Depressed Housemate. Since the beginning discussions of the graduation ball she has managed to piss unceremoniously on everybody else's happy parade. She moans that she can't wear dresses, she moans that she can't find shoes, she just generally moans. The accumulation of alcohol, pms and my uncomfortable shoes got the better of me. We shouted, she cried, I felt better.

I've just realised how many wee references there are in this post...

TP

A Meme stole off Me

Four words to describe you?

Rebellious, Extravagant, Thoughtful, Loyal (to my friends before you remind me of my cheating nature!!)

Do you bottle it up or let it all hang out?

Depends what it is, If its trivial I'll tell all and sundry, if it is very serious I'll just keep it to my self.

Is the glass half-empty or half-full?

Always half-full.

What music do you listen to when you're feeling down?

Depressing music. It somehow makes me feel better. Or if I'm just abit sad, then some cheesy pop. Girls Aloud usually cheer me up, and they're hot!

If you could nominate an eighth deadly sin, what would it be?

Smoking

Religious, spiritual, humanist or none of the above?

Maybe all three??

Do you ever spend longer than strictly necessary in front of the mirror?

Yes because the mirror is right next to my desk, so I do get an odd glance. And if I'm going out it takes aaaaaages to get ready. But on a day to day basis I'm pretty quick.

When did you last really get angry?

At fat depressed housemate like all the time.

What's your biggest regret?

I live my life without regrets

What are you most proud of?

Completing my degree!! And my resilience and determination.

What's the biggest difference between men and women?

Emotion

If you could change anything about yourself, what would it be?

I wouldn't change anything. I like who I am, without sounding like an utter knob, but I actually do.

What makes you laugh?

A whole host of things, I am always laughing. Usually my friends, my nieces and nephews, my parents on a very regular basis.

When was the last time you cried?

Two days ago, I have pms and am scared my graduation ball dress won't fit my belly on Saturday when I have to wear it.

How do you deal with rejection?

Not very well.

What is your ultimate ambition?

To make my parents extremely proud.

A Filthy Student no more!!

I am no longer a filthy student having just sat my last exam...EVER (well until I do my masters.) But that is not the point!! I am free!! Free from the shackles of university!! All my geeky horror film peers are going out for a drink, but I think I'm going to do something far more fun, I am going to sleep, all day until about 8.pm. And when I get up, I'll eat somat quick and get so drunk I can't speak.

Will let you know my tails of embarrassment tomorrow.

TP. xx

Reflecting

I have no desire to sleep, for the first time in ever. This is strange and perturbing because sleeping is amongst one of my favourite activities. ( I am a filthy student after all) I have been thinking about stuff, OSG. Like how I have evaded emotion for such a long time, and now it is biting me on the ass. I just want him to indulge me, to hold me, to want me all the time. I want him to know that the next time I kiss him it will be our last. I am leaving the city, the country. I desire no baggage. Yet I desire him. Because it is doomed. For the past three years our heavy sexual chemistry has accumulated in the past seven or eight months of..I don't even know what I can call it. But I know that it was good. That I liked the way he made me feel, good and bad. I liked that he reawakened the needy side of me, I liked that he never indulged me. I liked the feeling of jealousy. I liked that I had to work hard for him. But I'm tired of working hard and games now. I think there is only room for one emotionally dead person in any kind of coupling. I think I must be really hard to love if my behaviour is a reflection of his. I like smiling wearily when I think of him. I like leaving this relationship with the perfect fitting end. I like knowing that we are both satisfied. I like hoping that he may one day think about us and smile like I will. I like feeling woundedly fine.

Eurovision

No man is an island, unless you're The United Kingdom in the Eurovision Song Contest. Now I usually wouldn't give a shit, but I've had a glass of wine and feel hard bloody done by! I think the other countries are mean political vendetta holding bastards. Our song was shit, but it wasn't as bad as France who were a less camp version of Right Said Fred. And as for Ukraine, the silver suits alone should have had them out in the first round. Now the voting was mean, but what was more annoying was the girl in the pink tutu who was presenting in the green room who looked like she was on crack. I am a mad mad woman!! I vow never to tune in again...ok that's a lie. But I am unable to stop watching. Its like bad reality television. I feel compelled to watch. Even though I know we will never win, even though I know that our acts will always be shit. The reason I keep watching is quite simply, Terry Wogan. The man is quite the legend. He's sarcasm and wit made everything better for me. If I hadn't had that wine I would be able to stick a quote in here but I'm sorry I'm crap. Anyway, I am angry.

TP

P.S. In case you're wondering we got like 20 points, and 7 of those were pity points from Ireland. Atleast we weren't last. Small Mercies.

Music and Revision

So I have been conducting an experiment of late and seeing what music makes me revise more productively. This is my list so far

• The Cribs - Another Number
• Morrisey - You're the one for me fatty
• Babyshambles - East of Eden
• Bloc Party - Blue Light
• Kasabian - LSF
• The Charlatans - North Country Boy
• Sex Pistols - New York
• Libertines - What a waster

Ok, so from this *extensive* research I realised that I liked songs that had swears in them (because I'm so mature), and also songs that weren't about love (completely) and that were fastish. But the biggest thing I realised was that all these songs were sung by men with nice voices. So even though I was revising and thinking about the main themes in the Horror film, I was also subconsciously thinking about having sex with the lead singers of all these bands. Some people eh?? So single minded.

TP

P.s. fastish is a really sophisticated way to describe music alright?

My lover and oily poos.

My lover hath returneth to me! OSG came back from Liverpool and came to see me last night. We had a film date (American Warewolf in London in case you're wondering) and had lots of laughs, hugs, kisses and erhem other things. I am a very happy woman this morning, and will spend the whole day skipping around singing merrily. I was a tad annoyed with him this week for a whole host of reasons, but I figured we are only being casual and I am off to New York in about two months so I should just let it go and keep things light. But I don't want to. I'm making very unnecessary problems for myself...

In lighter news, remember fat depressed housemate who isn't fat? Well last month she bought diet pills off the net in a last ditch bid to shed some pounds. Let me just explain. FDHWIF is 6ft2 and 16 stone. She isn't obese, she is in proportion. However she whinges about being fat so much that we all now agree that she is fat. Anyway, back to the pills. So these pills claim to help you lose 7lbs a week. Not only dangerous but also a big FAT lie because she has been on them for about a month and has lost nothing, in fact she has gained a few pounds. The tablets work by sucking the oil out of your body and getting rid of it...er....everytime you poo and fart. So all that oil leakage and not a pound lost. The moral of the story is don't buy diet pills that make you poo oil.

More profound stuff soon.

TP.

Mcdreamy Fever

So in an attempt to not revise I did a really sad thing. I watched the first two series of Grey's Anatomy and now have Mcdreamy fever. I love that man as though he were my very own. I have watched so intensely that I am fully convinced that I too could now be a surgeon. I also have blurred it into my own life. I quote characters, I dream of Mcdreamy and miss George, Izzy and the guys. I am sad. I am a social recluse, I am my flatmate whom I took the piss out of for months. I feel terrible.

How much underwear is too much? In a bid to lighten my load to go to New York I threw some old bras and pants away (I haven't been an A cup for about two years, what exactly was I thinking when I kept them?) So to replenish stocks I bought new ones. I now have more then I did before. My underwear collection is rivalled only by my shoe one and that is saying something. But I think we all deserve a little luxury.

Tonight is FAME night. It is my favourite musical ever in the whole world, and my Gay Best Friend got me tickets. How I love that man dearly. I intend to sing along and generally be a Fame bore for the foreseeable future.

Anywho, must dash, my next dash of Mcdreamy has downloaded horah!!

ThinkPink.

Boooooored

Recently I have been going through a phase of doing nothing, hence the lack of blogging. This week for example, I have bought a graduation ball dress (Full of Beauty, I can not disclose the amount because I have an underlying fear that my mum may one day learn how to use the computer and randomly stumble upon this site) and have pretended to revise abit. I've lost some weight with the stress of sleeping all day and watching shit television. I have watched some cult classic horror, think American Ware wolf in London and I have been pining for my lover OSG. SO actually I can't really blog if there is nothing interesting to talk about. Oh wait here's something, my American employer forgot to fill in a whole phat section of my visa application so it has been sent back to him to refill, therefore the application is delayed by about a million years. I just want to go to New York!! Why is is taking so bloody long?

I'm going back to bed.

Think Pink.

**UPDATE**

I forgot to tell you that an old lady elbowed me in the ribs because my bag knocked her shoulder. She did it after I apologised for the said bag too. I felt assulted. She was half my size but she had a good elbow on her.

My dissertation is done and dusted!! Horah. I finally handed that little funker in today and I couldn't be happier. I never want to see it ever again. I also left the restaurant from hell. I left to a rapture of applause, adulation and banners...NOT. I had a few drinks with my favourite co workers, ate anything I damn well fancied, did hardly any work (unusually...) and got the Brazilian guy's number. The reason for this is because I found out that he was life guard. Yes I am that shallow. Even though he touches my face, I can bypass this bad habit for the fact that he saves people's lives!!! (and has a fabulous body)

OSG has gone to Liverpool for a week. I really miss him!! We speak every day and I know that he is usually just round the corner but I am pining a little for him. I have vowed to dismiss other lovers (apart from the Brazilian) for OSG.

More breaking news soon.

TP. XX

Normal blogging resumed.

Right Timbo has spurned me on to stop being such a knob. I shall explain. Yesterday I was having a rare off day but today I am all cheerful again. Yes I do like Joe but its never going to happen so we should just forget about him. OSG, I do like, very much. But I can't tell him because I'm leaving the bloody country in 3 months and I don't want to take any baggage with me. Including man baggage. However that does not mean that I can't have fun whilst I'm here. So for now, OSG will remain OSG. The Ex boyfriend has been made fully aware of our non relationship status. And Joe and I had a brief conversation in which we decided that if we meet up it will be great, but if we don't we will remain in touch because he is travelling to New York in September. So you see, everything is fine. I was just in a bad miserable mood. But I am cheered up now, so normal happy blogging is resumed.
Sorry for all the misery.

Cheerio!

A little moan

Today has been a funny old day. I'm overjoyed about finishing my dissertation and planning a fabulous girlie holiday with my two bestest freunds in the whole wide world. But I just can't seem to shake a feeling of sadness and foreboding about something. I don't know what it is. I feel abit sad. I feel abit trapped. I feel abit left behind by life. I feel let down by some people. I think that's my own fault because I never rely on people in the first place, so by letting myself become reliant I feel shitty. I feel like being a kid again (not the nappy wearing part, just the fun, not paying bills and playing in the garden all day part). I miss some people, but I know that it is probably better I don't speak to them anymore. I have nothing in common with them. Especially the ex boyfriend. Yet we keep talking about getting back together. This makes me sad because I'm not strong enough to tell him its not what I want. I don't want to hurt him or let him down. I'm still pissed off about my date with Joe. Our diaries are clashing so heavily at the minute I think I should just accept that that ship has sailed. Boo Hoo!!! He was hot!!! I am also pissed off that my relationship with OSG has me quaking at the knees. It is no longer Oral Sex. I actually quite like him.


I just fancied a little moan.

Busy Bee

This week I have :

Tiled my parents conservatory floor (and I did it well may I add)
Looked after three kids all under 7
Organised (and attended) my dad's surprise 60th birthday
Finished my dissertation (all I need to do is print it)
Watched High School Musical (and secretly liked it) with my niece
Had my hair cut
Broken the heel on my favourite pair of shoes
Been drunk and hungover (only on three drinks, you need not fear for my liver) three times
Filtered out my phonebook so I only have people I like in there.

All this because I am frustrated. But really productive so all is not lost!!

TP

Acts of God

So my date with JB was re arranged to Monday. Low and behold, half way to my house from Brighton his car breaks down. I think its just not meant to be. Lets sum up what has happened so far. The first time I was meant to meet him last month, his mother went into hospital. The second time was Easter Sunday and he had some sort of family arrangements that couldn't get out of. Last Saturday and I have no denero, then Monday and his car breaks down.This was obviously some kind of divine intervention to stop me from meeting him. I should accept it and move on. But I just can't!!! I really like him, and I think maybe I could just give him one last chance. Am I being stupid?? Should I just accept that's its not meant to be? In my head I'm already planning our wedding, having been on ONE date with this man. I don't know whether its the PMS or his dreaminess and ability to tick all my boxes, but I really like him and want him to touch my face. Now you know when I say touch my face that this is no frivolous fling.

On a less psychotic note I am in Birmingham with my family and loving it, so I shall be blogging it up a little less. Apologies in advance.

Anywho, have a good day everybody!!!

Film Night

I met Best Friend 2 last night for a "film" night. As bf2 and I used to fool around together for about six months, sometimes it is inevitable that after the lights go down, there are a few fumblings. It also doesn't help that bf2 is incredibly good looking, with a cracking personality. So last night, after many back rubs and hugs, we stumbled into bed about 3 in the morning, and the inevitable happened...we went to sleep. I couldn't do it!!! My inner slut decided to have a no show and was off somewhere else having group sex or something. I'm meeting JB tonight and I really like him, I couldn't do saucy stuff with BF2 mere hours away from meeting JB. I would be A BIG FAT DIRTY SLUT. And that is not good. So anyway, I resisted doing stuff with bf2 and was really proud of keeping it in my pants, considering how good looking he is, how much I know he's good in bed, and the great banter.

Onto JB, our date may not be happening. I don't get paid until Sunday because of problems at work, and I just can not go out on a date with no money. It would be disgustingly wrong. And I bought that stupid dress, I wish I could bloody return it. But I took the tag off it. I have a wardrobe full of dresses. So I text him and told him I was cancelling and he is currently trying to persuade me to go ahead. I might ask him if he wants to come round and stay in. In which case I won't even wear that bloody dress, so it was a big fat waste of money. I hate that dress. It is useless and the bane of my existence *shakes fist at dress*.


TP. XX

***Update***

Yes my date with JB is cancelled. I want to cry. A dark cloud has descended over my sex drive. AAARRRRRGGGGHHHHH!!!!

So the panic from yesterday may have been heightened by my pms....a little bit. It turns out the email I was sent just outlined some changes to 1/3 of my job. So I still have a job, its just got some changes to it. So the carbonara, biscuit, repeated ringing was very un neccersary.

I got drunk on two glasses of wine last night. So drunk that I called everybody in my phone book and had various shit and embarrassing conversations. I'm going to throw my phone away. And now I'm really hungover and want to die abit. I think I'm getting old.

I'm going back to brum next week yay!! I'm homesick and need my mum. Also I need to make my mum feel better about me leaving for New York. She is abit worried and thinks I'm going to get really poor when I'm there and become a prostitute (or go on "the game" as she calls it) or something. That's crazy. If I get really poor I'll just go and work at Hooters, its far more dignified...

I bought a new dress for my date with JB. Its demure and girlie and makes me feel fragile. I love it. But I will have some killer undies and hold ups on underneath should some saucy goings on take place. He wanted to stay for the weekend which I didn't really want. I really like him. He ticks all my boxes but I just thought it was too relationshippy. So I did a miraculous thing, and for once said no. I'm quite proud of myself, because generally if somebody asks me for something/to do something I always say yes. I hate letting people down or upsetting them. I hope it doesn't bode too badly for our date on Saturday.

Until next time libertines!!

ThinkPink. xx

carbonara for breakfast

You know its bad when you're eating spaghetti carbonara and biscuits for breakfast. Yes in times of crisis I turn to food. (ssm you are right) SO... My job in New York??? I received an email this morning saying that there is some financial difficulties in the company and it will affect my job. Seen as its about 5 o clock in the morning there I can't get through to anybody, but I am trying in a non givey uppy psychotic kind of way. JB also rearranged to Saturday with me. Which is good news considering my eyes look like they might pop out of my head because of my stressed state of mind. Also the fact that I look abit insane staring at my inbox willing my (hopefully) new boss to e mail me.

I NEED CAKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Gay clubbing and chemical burns

I had a fabulous Easter. I went gay clubbing in the trashy dirty dark club that is Ghetto...and loved it. Think electro kitsch pop with a few eighties reworked numbers thrown in. I was in my element. Although I was nearly attacked a few times by lesbians. I feel asleep after a few beers and woke up to find a big fat manly girl spooning me. NOT HOT. And then I was propositioned in the toilets, I was well up for it, but when the lights came on the red head was a minger and the blonde had goofy teeth. I was disappointed I must say. I was pissed and honestly thought I would have a 3some with two women. However, I'm not really interested by lesbian sex as per se..I mean, I agree, the female form is beautiful. And while I definitely could get off on it, I'd still need a man to be there. I have had lesbian sex before, but there has always been a male involved. I think if there wasn't I'd feel like I was just having foreplay, which is good sometimes I guess. But because I couldn't have a real penis I'd want it more. A tongue is definately no match for a penis.


****TRAGUS UPDATE***
Do not read if you are squeamish!

So I bought that Savalon stuff and didn't realise that you had to dilute it, and just put it on my ear neat. The result??? BIG FAT CHEMICAL BURNS ALL OVER MY EAR TWO DAYS BEFORE AN IMPORTANT DATE!! It looks horrendous. Most of it has started to clear up, there are just scabby bits, which so help me God I will pick off before Thursday.


Anyway, back to the hard life (its nap time)

ThinkPink. xx

Hungover

I am hungover...I went past my two drink threshold last night and drank...3 glasses of wine and a gin and bitter lemon. I am suffering today. I feel sick, tired and have an inability to string together a sentence. I can't believe I get so bloody drunk so easily. I'm a cheap date.
I'm going to try not to surpass the 2 drink rule when I meet JB on Thursday. I think the sex is going to be really hot and I want to remember it. I was talking to ssm last night and said that I really don't have any intention of meeting him again after this date so I better get the goods. I'm not being mean!! Its just that I'm back off to Brummie land at the end of May and then LEAVING THE COUNTRY hopefully for a very long time in August, so is there really any point?? I think not, I just want to get laid and part on good terms. I think this is more then fair. I am slightly upset, because I did actually like him. He is nice, has great hands and really hot blue eyes. But oh well, I'm sure there is a wealth of men in NYC that tick all my boxes.

I also think I want to start seeing somebody again, not like DBB because he went abit weird on me. The reason I couldn't tell you all before was because he read my blog, but now that I've moved I can spill all. Although he was good in bed, he was also abit of a dick. He used to correct my grammar and laugh at my pronunciation of words. Now, I am an English student who gets really offended by bad grammar, I am not going to use bad grammar unless it is in my artistic license (ie, deliberately) so don't fucking correct me dickhead. Also he decided I was going to meet his sister and didn't really ask me, so much as tell me. For two people who are having a casual *thing* I think that is abit commitmenty. Or am I being crazy??? I also told him explicitly I didn't want to meet her and he kept badgering me to do so. Not attractive in my book. And lastly I bored of him really quickly. And he was just no ssm, who by the way is pretty much my benchmark for good behaviour.
So what I'm trying to say is, I want a casual yet tactile(hugs, kisses, holding hands) non commitmenty thing. I'd say its going to be hard slog trying to find it.

I also have really hairy eyebrows and legs and can not muster up the energy to get rid of the hair. I should really because Oral Sex Guy may come round tonight after I finish work. Talking of which, remember when I told you about the Portuguese guy who can't speak English very well and who touched my face?? This is an exchange that took place last night. Bear in mind I have pms and am abit girly and neurotic.

Portuguese Guy - You look sad and tired
*he hugs me*
Me - You touched my breast *he brushed it*
PG - I do not want to touch your breast
Me - Why? whats wrong with my breasts??? *Look like I'm about to cry*
PG - I mean I do not want to touch your breast...hmmmm I don't know how to say
Me- You think I have horrible breasts??
PG - No you have nice breasts, they look very big and firm
Me - You are a fucking pervert

Happy early Easter everyone!!!

Thinky.

xx

I managed to get around the whole TCP thing and found Savlon antiseptic Liquid. It smells bloody great!! (If you like the smell of dettol like I do) So I may still have friends after all horah.

I have a date with JB on Thursday. I am pretty excited. I was thinking of wearing a sixtiesesq stripy dress with some heels..is it too much? Its a polo neck, but leggy which is good because after all I do want some element of come hither. I'm hoping he'll stay over and we can get saucy.

I'm giving my last lot of clothes (hopefully, I haven't fully checked all my shizzle yet) tomorrow!! Horay, that's a huge thing off my moving to New York checklist. I'm also going to give a huge collection of cds because I have them all on my comp and no longer need them. I can post them to anybody who wants them sans payment, but I don't think anybody will want abit of Westlife, Shane Ward or Craig David. I do have more eclectic tastes but sadly they are coming with me.

Yet again I have managed to do NO work today. Its too sunny to finish up dissertation or revise :( I just want to play outside!!!

And lastly if anybody wants to know what I look like...I will give you my myspace page. I feel like we're friends now and I can share me ugly mug.

Yours truly,
Thinkpink. xx

The tragus, a Colin Firth lookalikey and New Jersey

I feel like a mother shunned by her children, a cow segregated from the herd, in other words I feel really hurt. I have nursed this tragus, I have cleaned it religiously, I have not touched or fiddled with it. And it has an INFECTION. A bloody infection. It really hurts too, and without grossing you all out, it looks abit red and scabby. What am I supposed to do? It doesn't look cool like it is supposed to, oh no, this motherfunker looks angry and pissed off. It sometimes throbs with pain. I read somewhere that I should put TCP on it. TCP? That shit stinks!! I will be shunned by mankind if I walk around smelling like TCP. But I fear there is no other way. I fear...I may have to buy some or else my ear will fall off and my mum will say " I told you not to get it pierced" in an punjabi brummie accent. Mum knows best.

Had a fun day at work today even though I was there for about ten hours. I had a group of teachers in and one of them looked abit like Colin Firth. I did give him special attention I tell you. Although he was flirting with a chavalicious woman, who I think was a teacher too. She said she couldn't pronounce stuff on the menu so she was going to point to it. I'm not judging, but we only sell Fish and Chips you dim cow. Only joking, I'm just being bitchy, I work in an Italian restaurant and some of the stuff is hard to say, if you live where I live and only went to school until you were about six years old. Ahhh I'm doing it again, I will stop. She was lovely I'm sure...

I gave some stuff to charity today, and to balance out my good deed I thought I would allow myself some cigarettes. Off I skipped to Tesco only to be told I would not be sold them because I didn't look old enough. After my initial perturbation wore off I realised the women had mistaken me for somebody who was 15...15!!!! I'm 22. I felt thankful to my ma and pa for passing me down good genes.

The very nice person who is helping me relocate stateside has suggested I live in New Jersey because it is cheaper then the Island and not much of a commute. The only thing I know about New Jersey is that Coyote Ugly was *set* there. And now I want to work in a bar like that and pour tequila in people's mouths from the bottle. Seen as I do a film and tv degree I'm pretty ashamed to say I have a pretty poor taste in films. If there's baps, explosions and badies in it I'll watch it. But my films of choice are another post entirely...

Anyway, hope you all had a lovely cheerful day like I did.

Kisses,
TP. xx

*that may be a lie, I THINK it was set there but I may be being salacious.

Songs and Men

Some songs, like certain smells remind me of the men I have known, loved and loathed. Here is a list of a few songs.

1)Snow Patrol - Grazed Knees
2)Bright Eyes - Train under Water
3)Jose Gonzalez - Crosses
4)Kubb - Grow
5)Morrisey - Hold onto your friends
6)Amy Winhehouse - Stronger then me

I think me leaving has put me in an altogether really reflective mood. The Ex Boyfriend came to stay this weekend, and whilst it was a pleasant weekend, I was so glad to have my space back. And nothing happened between us, which also tells me that it was a good idea for us to break up. His stroking of my back make me flinch, I love him, but not in that way.

I also have decided, with the help of OSB (our relationship has changed loads since I last blogged about him, but basically we are really good friends now) that I'm not actually commitment phobic anymore. I quite miss being a girlfriend.

And lastly I realised that old crushes never fade *shakes head* even though you really want them to.

Moi. xx

Formally PP

Hi guys!!! Sorry for the musical chairsesq escapades with the blog.. it is a long story and I will explain extensively one day. But for now...far more important and happier news awaits!!!
I got the confirmation for my job in New York today, and I leave in August!!! I am so excited I almost weed myself abit when my new boss was talking on the phone. I also had an attack of the emotionals and cried abit. I am soooooooo happy and excited its untrue. The company that I'm working for have started applying for the visa for me, so all I have to do now is convince the American Embassy I will not be an illegal immigrant or terrorist...hmmmm.

I've been looking for places to live and it is all very expensive, but I don't care, I'd rather be poor in New York then in London. I'm also going to get a bar job whilst I'm there to supplement my shoe habit.

Seen as this is such a big thing, I thought I'd start my blog anew. Cheesy I know, but this is far more important then my sexcapades. Although talking of which OSB and I had a "date" last week and there were some rather fruity goings on. I'm seeing JB on Thursday and am quite looking forward to it. Although I'm not really bothered about men atm because of my new life changing move!!! I'm just so excited I'm sorry I can't stop talking.

Its one of those feelings where you keep smiling. Someone could poo on my face and I'd say thanks very much and walk off smiling. Of course, I am moving back in with the rents for the three months before I go to save some cash. Good old parents, they're so welcoming. I think they might try and make me stay but they know better then that, as unfortunately I am a stubborn old fool.

Nearly finished my disso!!! (check me out Greavsie) and have one exam until its all over.
I'm so excited by the prospect of being grown up!!! It wont last will it haha.

Anyway, enough boring but nice ramblings. Welcome to the world of Think Pink. I miss signing off PP actually :(

TP. XX