Lost Phone (and lots of these)

I lost my phone. What actually happened was...I went out for some drinks, we (my fellow restauranters and I) thought it would be a good idea to go clubbing. The club was full of 5 year olds, so we got extremely drunk (remember I'm a lightweight, so extreme drunkenness for me is about 4 vodka lime and sodas) to wipe out our surroundings. At about quarter to twelve (ever the party animal me) I decided it was time to go home. I stumbled into a cab and left my phone on the back seat.

I feel I have lost a limb. OSG feels like he has lost a limb as we can not send each other perverse pictures (I just sent him two rather *filthy* (in the loosest terms as they were actually just pictures of my feet in the shoes) pictures of my cool new shoes). I have no communication with the outside world. I am a sailor in a stormy sea. I didn't realise what a vital crutch to my life my phone was. Like for example, I am always late, my phone comes in handy because I can text and change designated meeting times as I'm on my way. (I can also fib about how far into the journey I am and how awful the traffic is, therefore the lateness is forgiven). I can call people and here voices rather then read words. I am in mourning. Officially. Until Wednesday when the kind people at O2 send me my new phone, complete with old number so nothing is lost (except my sanity for a few days).

Sick Day (Sponsored by Master Card)

I called in sick. I wasn't actually "sick" I was just "sick" of working. I had a great fun filled day actually and did not feel guilty in the slightest. After all I have been working 7 days a week for about 6 six weeks now. A girlie needs a break!!

What I did :-
I got a pedicure
I got my legs waxed
I got a spray tan
I bought 2 very cool pairs of shoes
I bought some other random stuff
I winked at a sales assistant by accident and then had to run out of the shop as he looked at me with disgust
I fell over twice because it was raining and the floor was slippy and I had inappropriate shoes on
I got shouted at by mum for spending all that money.

Cost of day - £210
Cost of day off spent frivolously playing - Priceless.

School play

I went to see my niece and nephew's school play today. I was in awe at the amount of comedic potential held by the people there. There was The Headmaster. Not only did he close his eyes as the children were singing and mime enthusiastically along, not only did his gut hang over his trousers, and not only did he display an acre of builders bum when he sat down, but he also said really cheesy things in a nasally voice.
Then there was Frumpy Teacher Trying to be Sexy. Oh the shame and embarrassment. She was wearing fishnet tights and ankle boots. You could see her WHITE bra under her sheer BLACK shirt. I had a teacher like that too. Maybe it just happens when you start to teach, you start to think that wearing these kinds of clothes make you cool. Its a bloody Primary School not Moulin Rouge.
Lastly there was Over enthusiastic Family Member. The clapped the loudest and wildest when their child was on stage, they looked bored when they weren't. They nudged the person next to them to inform them that that particular child was in the family, but obviously not when their child was speaking. They thought it acceptable to take pictures constantly when their child was on stage. They shushed people when their child was talking, even though they were the only person making the noise. All in all, abit of a twat.

I was the twat. In my defence, my niece and nephew were amazingly great and clever and got all the words right and performed with pizazz. However, they did refuse to speak to me after the show because I had embarrassed them so much.

P.s. I also passed my degree with honors!! Woop woop!! (a 2:2 in case you're wondering)

I am working two jobs. Call me crazy, its an 80 hour week. I'm making lots of money and having it cruelly snatched away by le man of tax. What a wanker!!! Doesn't he know I have an immigration to fund!!! I spoke to my ma and she told me I have to go, that I have no choice, that she would be disappointed if I didn't go. So there you have it, I will be fleeing the country after all.

So, "what jobs are you working??" I hear you cry with earnest...or not. Weeelll I am temping by day (boring, pervert boss, but I get to wear sexy office clothes which I have a huge fetish about) and waitressing by night. The latter has sparked an idea. I think I am going to write a restaurant etiquette book. For example, when is it ever Ok to ever walk into a restaurant and sit yourself down? The answer...Never unless it is fast food. This restaurant has turned me into a mean horrible cow. I hate people, especially people who want to eat food and have lots of drinks on a lovely balmy summer evening, when I am stuck in a hideous brown shirt, ugly shoes and sweating profusely because I have to get stuff.

I have been estate agenting it up for my parents. My mum and dad want to move house, a little bit more into the country, a place where they can relax really. Its bloody hard work. Who ever knew that mothers could be so fussy??

Anyway, all is calm at home and getting better by the day. Will be a better blogger from now on I promise!!!

TP. Xx

An Update

My dad is feeling better, his words are still slurred but he is so so much more coherent. He will be discharged by Friday the doctors think, which is unbelievably great. I have no doubt that he will get miles better once he is at home as he absolutely hates hospitals. He hasn't been able to see my nieces and nephews which will also make a huge difference as he lives for them. He sees them everyday on a regular basis. Its all good news.

I am in two minds about whether to go to NYC. I was in the process of booking my ticket (5th of September) but don't know whether I should leave everybody to cope by themselves. He will have fully recovered by them but I'm just scared that he may have another one. I have a huuuuge family (four sisters and two brothers) so I have no doubt that he will be well looked after, its just that I would really like to be there.

Anyway, thank you to everybody for the kind comments.

TP

My Dad

I have just been for a 55 minute run. Exhaustion and heat has forced me back in. In truth I was running away. My father is sick. Real sick. He had a stroke. This is my Superman, and now he is a babbling wreck. He recognises us but does not know our names. He cannot smile, nor does he want to. He doesn't know what is wrong, because he is so incoherent he can't comprehend. I am helpless. I have never ever imagined any of my parents like this. He doesn't know his name, his date of birth, my nephew's names. I am devastated. I would give anything in the world to make him better. I can't eat, I am numb. He is a child again. When somebody asks him a question he looks to us to answer. If he does answer it is a bunch of incomprehensible numbers. I have not cried, I am thankful he is alive.

I found him, I had to dress him and call an ambulance. I vomited when the doctor told me he had had a stroke. I had nobody to lean on, I was alone because everybody else was somewhere else through no choice of their own.

I am afraid.